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The Big Shave
What's the best way to mow your face?
By Seth Stevenson
Seth Stevenson writes for
Newsweek and shops for Slate. Posted Wednesday, Feb. 16, 2000, at 4:30p.m. PT
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No chore pains me more than shaving. Best-case scenario: clean shave. And then I do it again tomorrow. Worst-case scenario: severed artery. And then I hope I can do it again tomorrow, God willing. Middling- and most-common-case scenario: redness; irritation; blade-evading straggle whiskers; nicks; outright cuts; full-on gashes; and ... I still have to do it again tomorrow.
In hopes of easing this horrific burden, I sought out the perfect, or, barring that, least awful shaving method. I enlisted friends and colleagues in the search. I shaved a lot. Herewith, my findings. Products are ranked, within each category, from first to worst: shaving right to raving
shite.
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Electrics
1. Panasonic ES727 Wet/Dry Double Blade ($77.95)
2. Grundig Pro Avantgarde ($244.95)
3. Remington M-2820 MicroScreen Intercept ($89.95)
4. Braun Flex Integral 6515 ($97.95)
5. Norelco 5615X Advantage Wet/Dry ($109.95)
All electric razors warn that, if you've been shaving with a blade, it takes 21-30 days for you to "adjust." Remington says it's to "find the optimum shaving method for your particular beard type." (This time period closely corresponds with the warranty length, but let's assume good intentions for now.) I simply didn't have a month to spend with each razor. Only a few days. Question my methodology if you must, but ask yourself: Can you afford a month of razor burn as down payment on a shaving Shangri-La that may never transpire? Here are the results you'll get if, like me, you don't have time to wait:
Bad, bad results.
I purchased the top four brands and the overpriced Grundig from ElectricShaver.com, which offers the largest selection of e-razors and the lowest prices on the Web. The Panasonic is the best of a poor lot. Letting you use shaving cream and shave in the shower, it offers by far the closest shave of the group. In easy regions—cheeks, upper lip—it excels, rivaling a decent blade shave. But like all electrics, it just can't get those tricky sub-jaw zones. Under the chin? Forget it. Neck cowlicks? No sir-ree. And if you've gone two days without shaving, it's useless.
The Grundig Pro Avantgarde (what, am I Eric Dolphy?) works OK. But at these prices, it ought to clean the sink when it's done. The Grundig also jets forth a mist of powdered whiskers as it shaves: One tester mentioned "clear cutting." You're paying for looks with this one. Its elegant, Teutonic hauteur will impress snooty friends.
The Remington is worse than the Grundig—it's about as good as a good disposable. The Braun? Much, much worse: One tester says it turned his face into "No. 10 emery cloth."
The Norelco Advantage Wet/Dry should never, ever be purchased, utilized, given as a gift, received as a gift, or loaned. 1) It cut me. This is the cardinal no-no of electrics. The whole point is they don't cut you. That's why politicians use them. Shame, Norelco. 2) This model squirts out moisturizing Nivea goo. Not only does the goo not improve your shaving, it also bonds with shaved whiskers to form a nasty, whisker-goo compound that you don't want anywhere near you.
(Note: The Braun and Remington were stolen from my office before I could try them, so I relied entirely on a deputy tester. Tellingly, the razor thief left the Norelco behind, even though it sat next to the other two on my desk. He may be a crook, but he's no masochist. Here's to you, thief!)
Slate
©2000
Microsoft Corporation.
More:
What's the best way to mow your face?
Shaving tips
from Clinique
TIPS FOR THE PERFECT SHAVE
Ten Shaving Tips To Keep You Happy
How come a woman shaving her legs wears out a man's razor
so fast?
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