Isolation #2

Temperament*
*Wherein You Learn What I Think CDs Are Like.

By Karen Murphy
Reprinted here with permissions granted

My Hypothesis:

I think CDs tend to share certain personality traits. I think that these traits tend to make them, by temperament, loners.

...And a Disclaimer

I am not a psychologist or sociologist. However, I am a CD. I know myself pretty well. I've also come to know a great many CDs -- admittedly somewhat superficially. What I say here is based totally on this personal experience.

I know that what I'm saying here has not been tested or statistically established. In this sense, when I say these things, I know that I am not being scientific. I've put this hypothesis here because I strongly believe it to be true, even if unproven, and in order to encourage comment. I will continue to believe what I say here is true until someone convinces otherwise. I'm a stubborn cuss, aren't I?

If you agree or disagree with me, let me know, and please tell me why you do. I'm honestly interested in hearing what you might think.

Common CD Character Traits

I believe CDs tend to share the following traits:

Intelligence

CDs are highly intelligent. I don't think that I have ever met a CD whom I would classify as stupid. I've met some who were uneducated or that held beliefs that I regarded as kind of silly, but these encounters were infrequent. Rather, most CDs I've come to know are educated and fairly successful in their chosen professions. These tend to need, and seek out, mental stimulation from various sources. Most are avid readers. A lot of them are computer "junkies." They are easily bored. They prefer the company of friends and acquaintances that are on a par with them mentally. Their intelligence is probably the root of many of the other character traits that I list here.

Creativity

Cross dressers are creative people. They like making things or doing things that result in the production of something physically or sensorially tangible. It might be music, a piece of woodwork, a poem, or some sort of photography or art. They strive for originality in this, but for most the act of doing it is probably more important than what is finally achieved. They tend to be happiest when they are involved in this creative process. Usually it occurs or is performed when they are alone.

Intellectual Curiosity and Eclecticism

CDs are intrigued by many subjects. They may have a profession that pays the bills, but they tend to dabble, or become interested in, other unrelated subjects. Generally, this interest is passionate, at least for a time. However, they often achieve a degree of mastery or knowledge in one skill or area, become bored or find it not quite as stimulating as before, and move on to explore something new. As a result, they tend to be dilettantes -- "Renaissance men" who are "jacks-of-all-trades, but masters of none." They continuously need mental stimulation, and this need leads them to quest into unknown areas or fields of knowledge. They seem to take great delight in the arcane. They enjoy complexity and eccentricity. Puzzles and word games are a source of pleasure and fun. Wit and turns of phrase are appreciated. Mathematics and computer science are intriguing for many.

Collectors/Hobbyists

CDs seem to like to tinker and play around with things. I've always been impressed by the number of them whom I have met that are collectors of something or other -- stamps, coins, magazines, music, beer cans, hubcaps, memorabilia, model airplanes. For a CD, possession of a thing is equated with its mastery; the passion for collecting perhaps relieves some internal desire for order or organization. Clearly, though, the search for new items to add to a collection relieves boredom and satisfies curiosity. Encounters with others who share such private passions are treasured.

Hobbies are also important to many CDs. Gardening, working on cars, sewing, and similar activities appeal to inner aesthetic or mechanical impulses. These hobbies may often be regarded as private passions and are not to be shared to any great extent with others -- and certainly not with non-aficionados or the uninitiated. Others do not understand the delight the CD takes in them and the CD hides his pleasure so that others will not think him "odd," "eccentric," or "a nerd."

Perfectionism

CDs tend to be perfectionists. They tend to be hard on themselves and are easily frustrated when they cannot achieve desired results or goals. They are seldom satisfied with themselves in most areas of personal endeavor. Many tend to be workaholics. Their sense of duty or responsibility is often highly, or even overly, developed. Delegation of responsibilities is difficult for them. Interaction with others who are not as dedicated to a chosen task or endeavor is avoided, as such people are seen as "lightweights" or not worth being overly involved with.

Imagination

CDs are highly imaginative people. They tend to be dreamers. They enjoy flights of fantasy and are piqued by new or unique ideas and concepts. An inordinate number of CDs that I have met are passionate readers of science fiction. Such fantasy activity is sometimes preferred to reality and is utilized as a refuge during periods of stress or boredom. Interruptions when on such flights of imagination are regarded as irritating and frustrating.

Loners

Put these traits together and the CD comes to see himself, probably rightly, as being different than most of the other human beings that people his world. Most of these other people do not share his intelligence, his curiosity, his sense of awe at the new or different, or his imagination. The CD's fondness for solitary activity, and his preference of it to group engagement, encourages and reinforces his own inner belief that he is "different" from most other people with whom he comes in contact. He believes himself to be psychically apart from them -- a belief that eventually comes to temper virtually all of his encounters with non-CDs.

Lots of CDs will tell you that, at an early age, they felt themselves to be "different" than other boys; that they disliked competitive games and preferred quieter activities or being alone. Many say that as they grew up they felt uncomfortable in social contexts or were chronically shy, particularly around girls -- to whom they were possibly attracted, but with whom they felt awkward or had difficulty communicating.

This "temperament matrix," and the CD's perception that having it makes him "different" from others, tends to make the CD more or less an "outsider." For some, this sense of being apart is manifested by an actual separation from ordinary group activities and typical social interaction. For others, group activities do occur, and, given his talents, the CD may actually excel at them. But deep-down he may also feel that his participation is "only going through the motions," or an act of "paying lip service" to activities in which he does not really put much any heart. Such a CD may be nominal member of a group, but his membership is superficial. In fact, he does not really accept the group's values or regard them as truly his own.

As an outright outsider or secret dissenter, the CD will come to be independent, self-reliant, and solitary. True friends and confidantes will be few. Books replace friends, solitary flights of imagination replace social interaction, and private hobbies or activities are seen as being more worthwhile and fulfilling than those involving groups or other people.

In sum, the CD's perception that he is "different" from most of his friends and acquaintances is somewhat accurate. However, he often tends to overly magnify these differences in his own mind and, as a result, detach himself from people who might otherwise find him interesting or who might otherwise wish to become his friend. The CD regards himself as a quintessential maverick. Because he believes this to be the case, he will tend to behave like one. Because he so behaves, society, in turn, will also view and treat him as one. Intriguingly, this half-innate, half-developed grab bag of character traits may be just what causes a CD to put on a dress in the first place. What do you think?

Don't buy what I'm saying? Bah! What do you know? Just to show you how right I am, I've added a special page to show how a canny CD can use his unique character traits to achieve personal success and find himself a dream job. Check it out!

For more, click these hyperlinks:
THE CHILDHOOD AND FAMILY DYNAMICS OF CROSS DRESSERS
Staying Balanced and Keeping Yourself Under Control
The Real Truth About Cross Dressing